A Time Lord in a Sunnydale Crypt
by Uncle Charlie
Summary: The Doctor is anxious for a little peace and quiet this Christmas. He doesn't get it. Written for the 12 Fics of Christmas 2018


This is totally crackalicious, but I would LOVE a crossover between Ten and at least one of the Scoobies from Buffy. With or without Donna or Martha, up to you. I'd like it to mostly be gen, but some implied romance is fine. (author by night)

The TARDIS came to a slamming stop and The Doctor picked himself up off the floor. It was such a bear to fly her, even worse without Donna. He'd snuck out the back door of her mother's place and ran for the TARDIS.

He liked Wilfred, her grandfather well enough and he adored Donna, but something had skipped the generation in between. Donna's mother was hard, rude and just plain mean. The things she said about Donna made the Doctor's blood boil. Why a parent had to be so critical of her child was beyond him.

He supposed his parents had been of him, but he couldn't remember. He worked so hard to forget about Gallifrey and the life he'd run from that now, in the stillness of space, he discovered he was having trouble with details. So, naturally, like always he ran.

Opening the door, his nose crinkled at the smell. It was musty and damp. It was like death. It was.

"A crypt," he muttered, taking a step out of the TARDIS. "Of all the places to be on Christmas Eve and I'm in a crypt."

"Oi!"

He turned in the direction of the voice and froze. There was a man standing there, dressed in black with shocking white hair. Beside him was a young girl and a slightly older one, her red hair pulled away from her face. There was a sense of untapped power surrounding her. They were standing in front of a partially decorated tree and there was music playing in the back ground. If he wasn't mistaken, it was Bing Crosby. There was brightly colored garland decorating the fabric draped walls and the makeshift fireplace gave the room, as hard as it was for him to believe it, a cozy feeling.

"Who the hell are you that you think you can park a big blue box in my crypt!?" There was an aura around the man, not quite human, but the same could be said for his companions. None of them were quite… right. "Get it out of here. We have guests coming."

The red head grew excited. "Oh, I remember reading about those. They used to have them back in England."

"Duh, English, Red. Remember? 'Course a bit after my time."

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Plus, with the reading." She pointed to the words 'Police Box' on the TARDIS and smiled. For a moment, The Doctor realized how much he missed Donna and he fought the urge to climb back in the box and fly back to her.

"I'm sorry. The TARDIS, she goes where she wants, I'm afraid."

"And if I've been standing there, I'd been dead… well, more dead."

"Can you be more dead, Spike? I always wondered that. Seems you're pretty dead now."

"Hey, at least I don't walk around all precious like." His lips suddenly curled in a smile and she threw popcorn at him.

For the moment, he was forgotten and The Doctor watched the three engage in a brief but enthusiastic popcorn fight.

"Sorry." The redhead bent to pick up the scattered kernels. "You'll get rats if we don't pick this up."

"I got rats, Red. It's a crypt."

"Rats?" The young girl cringed.

"Don't worry, Little Bit, they aren't around when I am."

He cleared his throat at that point. "Hello, I'm The Doctor."

"Doctor? You go around introducing yourself by your profession? You got stones. We have got to get him together with the Slayer."

The Doctor's eyes grew wide. "Who… exactly… is that?" The thought of a fellow Time Lord calling himself a slayer was frightening to say the least.

"My older bossy sister." The young girl went back to her task of decorating the tree. Adults were such a bore at times. She looked back at The Doctor and smiled. "I'm Dawn and this is Willow and that's Spike."

"And you're dead?" The Doctor studied Spike and suddenly the man turned, his face horribly disfigured for a moment. Then it morphed back into its regular shape.

"Hello! Vampire," Spike said.

Willow giggled, "Yeah, we're his molls."

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and aimed it at Spike.

"What, you're going to high light me?" Spike scoffed and returned to the tree.

"Run!" The Doctor ordered the girls. "I'll hold him off."

"What? I will never understand adults." Dawn hung a red ball on a nearby branch. "They get so weird at this time of the year."

"You… you aren't being held against your will?"

"Are you, Will?" Spike's voice grew seductive. "I'd hold you."

"Really?" Then she laughed. "What would we do with Tara?"

"Threesome?" He sounded hopeful.

Willow slapped her hands over Dawn's ear. "Spike!"

"I am in middle school, you know. I know about these things." Dawn wiggled free and laughed. "Come and help us finish the tree, Doctor Whoever you are. The rest of the gang will be here any minute."

"I still can't believe Giles agreed to a Christmas party in a crypt." Willow adjusted a strand of lights.

"Why not? We done it up right!" Spike seemed proud. "I even remembered the punch."

"Did you spike it?" Willow suddenly blushed. "Sorry…"

The vampire laughed. "Not yet. Maybe later." He looked over at Dawn and winked.

"There's more coming?"

"Sure, the Slayer."

"That's my sister, Buffy."

Spike counted on his fingers. "And the Watcher, the whelp and his cling on."

"Could we speak English?"

"Thought I was. Giles, Zander, and Anya. And Clem said he'd drop by. It's not much, but it's family."

Dawn ran over a couch, partially buried in boxes and pulled out a package. "We got hats and everything."

 _I can't even find peace in a cemetery this time of the year_ , The Doctor thought. Another Christmas party, destined to make him feel more the outsider, was a depressing thought. "Sounds a bit crowded."

"With that bloody box in the middle of the room, it is." Spike picked up a mug and took a swallow.

"Is that… blood?" The Doctor took a step back.

"Naw, egg nog. Not as good as my mum's, though." He offered the cup to The Doctor. "You want some?"

"Thank you, no." He pointed to the TARDIS. "I should… I should move that."

"You can stay if you want. There's plenty," Spike said softly.

"I really should get back to my other… party." Perhaps Donna's mother will have mellowed at by now. She'd been hitting the champagne pretty heavily.

Then the crypt door opened and a crowd of people spilled in, all of them carrying armfuls of packages and sacks.

Spike lit a cigarette and took a deep drag on it.

Dawn coughed and waved her hand in front of her face. "You'll get cancer."

"Not likely to kill me, is it?"

"I'll get cancer."

Spike immediately dropped the cigarette and crushed it beneath the toe of his boots. "Too late now."

"Hey, someone, help me!"

"Been saying you needed help for years." Spike went to the rescue.

"Hey, that's not… Anya!"

"I'm just counting presents."

"I have brandy."

"Great!"

"Dawn, you're not old enough."

"I was a freaking key to the destruction of the universe. When am I going to be old enough?"

"When you're 21… in this lifetime."

"Giles, what's in this?"

"Crackers."

"For the cheese, you mean? We already have three boxes."

"Christmas crackers, you nit."

"Hey, who's calling me a nit?"

"Me, whelp. Where's the mistletoe?"

"I'm not kissing you, Spike."

"I will!" Dawn said.

"DAWNIE" shouted the adults.

The Doctor took a step back and then another one. Somehow, the peace and quiet of Donna's parlor seemed much more peaceful than the sudden mayhem that entered. As he got to the door, he caught Spike's eye. The vampire was right. Family is family, however fractured or challenging, and this was the time of the year for it. He shut the TARDIS door and headed back to his.


End file.
